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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Has social media ruined our social skills?

I mean, seriously.

This recent move of ours is really the first time I've been in the situation that I've had to do all new social networking since freshman year of college.  Of course, in college, everyone is in the same boat; they all want to make new friends.  So really this current situation is pretty much the first time in my life.

I'm in a new city, new church, new elementary school and preschool for the little ones, new stores, new libraries, new neighborhood - the works; you get it.  So everywhere I go I put on my smily, friendly face in hopes of making a friend.  I strike up conversations with strangers.  And I'm always aware of everyone around me.  (Very stalker-like, I know.)

Well, I have been so shocked at the response I've gotten.  Some people are nice, yes.  There will always be those extroverts that make you feel welcome and make you think they're your best friend until the next day when they forget your name.  But the other 90% of people are just socially awkward!

For the most part, I have been just totally ignored.  And I'm friendly, y'all!  I really do think that social media has made the art of conversation and basic social etiquette a thing of the past.  And that makes me really sad.  

There have been a few really great people that I've met, though, and I'm VERY grateful for their kindness.  And in reality all anyone needs is a few good friends.  

So am I alone in this assumption?  I'd love to hear some feedback about this.


  1. I completely agree with you on this one. I seriously thought about doing a blog post about this myself, although with a different twist.

    I was thinking how sad it is that many of my family and friends expect me (and others) to keep up with them via Facebook/Instagram/Twitter. I no longer am on FB, but it saddens me that I am missing out on important things like first day of school pictures of my niece, or my friends' wedding...that I didn't know she was having.

    It just seems that no one wants to pick up a phone these days or mail a letter....sigh.

  2. I may be old-school in my way of thinking, but I definitely agree with you. I hate going into places and everyone is nose-deep into their cell phones. I think it is sending out a message that 'what I'm looking at on my phone is more important than you' whether that is true or not. I don't even have a smart phone (I know!) because I honestly don't need it.

    Definitely miss snail mail and striking up a conversation with a stranger in a grocery store line.

  3. You'll just have to continue navigating your way and exploring new things. Making friends at a new place takes time, but there are people around. I've made at least 6 different moves by now, all to brand new places or back, but at a new unit. I guess I'm just used to the having to start all over again process. But I always made friends eventually. Chances are, most people are in the same or similar place as you. They want to meet people, but don't know how. Meeting new people takes time. I got lucky in my current unit of assignment here in Alaska as I came up here with two of my classmates from my Captains' Career Course who were both assigned to the same unit as me, and one of them was previously stationed here, so she already knew her way around. But I got to meet with new people through her.

    - Esther

  4. I would have to agree. In my opinion social media is impacting our ability to make friends, to keep friend, hurting our marraiges, and impacting the relationship with our children. People get so attached to whatever social media they prefer and can't live without it. There are so many things more important than social media.

  5. Oh my gosh I as just talking about this with a friend last night Annie... it's like moving into a new place is NOT what is was when I was a kid. I remember people running to the neighbors house... with bread and smiles and introductions. When I moved into my last house with my ex-husband, we wlived there nearly 3 years and NO ONE ever really came over and introduced themselves. Seriously.

    Since we are getting ready to move again, I am a little nervous but... I plan to be WAY more aggressive in meeting people.

    I'd love to meet you- I think we'd be great friends!



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