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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Guest Blogger: the HUBS!!

Guess what!  I have a special treat for you today.  My dear, sweet hubby is guest posting!  Now, if you know him, you'll know that he has to ruffle a few feathers, so be warned.  It's a good post, though - thought provoking, for sure.  Without further ado...Michael!


Before I was even born, my parents were good people who believed a simple lie:
If you parent your children God's Way, then your kids will follow God's Way.
This seemed to them at the time to be a great deal.  They immersed themselves into the church in which they believed and followed its teachings very closely.  They were good people who were trying hard to make a good life for their children.

And then my parents divorced, and within a few years we all went in different spiritual directions.

I ended up in a conservative evangelical Christian church, but I still heard the same thing about parenting.  The only thing that changed were the rules.  God's Way was now homeschooling, or courtship instead of dating, or spanking your children, or putting babies on a strict sleeping schedule.  There was even a book that overtly claimed the Almighty God Stamp of Approval: Growing Kids God's Way.

When I became a parent I became acutely aware of the pervasiveness of "God's Way Parental Bargain".  I also learned that parenting with love, grace, peace, humility, joy was absolute chaos because I had to deal with my own selfishness and apply it to a child who is also selfish and immature and who is always changing.  In that sense the Bible is a wonderful guide for how I can love my children better and be a better parent.  It's really simple: love more and hate less.

But beyond that?  If biblical parenting is the model to follow, wouldn't there be some great families and kids actually in the Bible?

Let's look at the results.

People will say over and over again that they want to follow the biblical model for parenting.  But my goodness.  Do you want those results?  I don't.

I think the truth is that this world is a tough place to raise children.  You have to love them with everything you have.  You can't rely on rules to has to be from the heart.  You have to have faith that God will guide you for what is right for your children.

And at the end of it they might rebel.  But if they do, that's OK.  That's a part of life.  You'll be in very good company.


Thanks, Babe!  Great post!  My takeaway from this:  don't try to control your kids.  Trust God, yes.  Love your kids, yes.  Give them godly direction, yes.  Discipline, of course.  But make them into little robots?  Nope.  God's plan is free will, as much as my controlling little self dislikes that.  


  1. As far as parenting "biblically" the only example we should follow is that of God Himself. He offers us unending grace and love, in spite of all we do to stray and rebel and pain Him. THAT is what "biblical" parenting should be about. You said it right: "more love, less hate".

    Oh, and all those screw up parents you listed above. God used them all to bring about the Savior of the world! He uses all things to work for His glory! Imagine what He's going to do with our mistakes!

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