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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Hope

This morning Michael and I were talking about what a funny thing hope is.  Last week was one of the hardest weeks of my life.  (I consider the first week of Samuel's and Levi's lives to be the other two hardest weeks of my life - but equally as joyous and miraculous.)  The stress and pain were just so great, and when you're in the middle of it, things really seem hopeless.  It just felt like there was no end in sight and that things would never get better.  It's easy to feel so hopeless and down when it feels like someone is sawing off your nipple every time you try to feed your baby.

Michael kept on trying to tell me, "Everything is going to be different by Monday," but I never let myself believe him.  I don't know why I was choosing to not have hope.  I was just depressed (post-partum hormones didn't help).  But that's when hope is most needed, in those situations that seem like there's no end in sight.  Everyone needs a little something to hold onto.

But guess what!  By Monday, everything really was different.  I was able to nurse Isaac all day and all night (and not pump and syringe feed him) for the first time in days.  The latch still hurt, but it went away almost immediately after.  I'm SOOOOO incredibly thankful and elated that things have turned a corner.

I love this little boy SOOOO much, and I'm just so happy that I get to enjoy him now.  There are a couple of minor issues that I'm going to work on with my lactation consultant today, but we are leaps and bounds from where we were last week.  I'd say we'll be completely out of the woods in another 3 days.

So thank you, Mellanie (my LC).  Thank you, Dr. ENT, for the tongue clip.  Thank you, everyone who made me and my family dinner (everything was amazing!).  And thank all of you for your all of your prayers and encouragement.  I'm so beyond thankful!

P.S.  I forgot how much I adore wearing my babies.  Look at this precious boy!  Will you judge me if I say that he's my cutest newborn?  (My other two are cute now, of course.)  I need to take more pictures.  I'm pretty smitten, though.

6 comments :

  1. I'm so thrilled that things are looking up! I've been praying for you often and am so glad that God is faithful to us. He always is!

    Incidentally, Mellanie is the best! She was my LC too and is a good friend. I refer folks to her often. I'm sure we're talking about the same Mellanie because there aren't too many that spell their name quite that way!

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  2. I am SO glad it's getting better. And I'm sorry but, I totally LOL'd at the "sawing off your nipple". It's very true! That's exactly what it feels like and when someone keeps telling you it will get better, you're like, "it's not your nipple be sawed on!". And of course there is hope and I'm happy you've made it there.

    He is totally cute. I always thought mine were really cute newborns too until months later I look at pictures and think, maybe not. ;)

    Good luck with the rest of the week. Can't wait to see the little guy. Love you and praying for you all.

    Kandice

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  3. I can't wait to see him again. He is beautiful!!

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  4. Haha, yeah, Kandice, that was the first image that came to mind when I was thinking of how to describe it. So true!

    Katherine, yes, I'm sure it's the same Mellanie. She's amazing! I love how balanced she is between medical/logical and natural. I always recommend her, too.

    See you tomorrow, Courtney!

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  5. Precious! And so true about the HOPE:)

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  6. You are more than welcome! You are an amazing mom and I am privileged to get to work with you!

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