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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Pregnancy Insomnia Ranting

Seriously?  Pregnancy insomnia?  Why is that even a thing?  Like I'm not tired enough already being pregnant and chasing after two little boys all day in the Texas heat, but you have to add to that the fact that I can't fall asleep at night or that if I wake up prematurely then I'm screwed!

Okay, so there's my vent about that.  But gah!  Okay, I'm done for real now.

So I was lying in bed for about an hour (in which time Michael managed to have two night terrors) before I decided to get up and kill time on the computer.  As I was lying there I was thinking about decorating a baby girl's nursery and how it's killing me to wait until late August to find out what I'm having.  I keep thinking that I have the perfect look in mind for a nursery, and then I'll think of something else.  I really do think I have in mind what I want now, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up just in case it's a boy (which would be totally fine, but the decor wouldn't change much).

My BF and I are both pregnant and 4 weeks apart from each other (I'm ahead of her).  No, we didn't plan it that way, just sort of happened.  We both have two boys (the oldest ones are two weeks apart).  So naturally we're both hoping for girls.  The only problem is that we either both need to have girls or we need to both have boys, because if one of us gets a girl and the other gets a boy, well, I don't want to sound petty, but it'd be a little disheartening.  And truly in our hearts we'd both be fine with boys and just want a healthy baby, but you know how it is.

So for now I'll just keep adding to my "Baby Girl Nursery Inspiration" page that I created tonight, but I will keep resisting the urge to buy anything girl related, especially clothing!  Eight more weeks to find out!  But this Friday I'll get to hear that precious little heartbeat again, and whether it's a girl or a boy doesn't matter because s/he will be all mine.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I Walk the Line

So lately I've been thinking a lot about the line that exists between frugal living ("living like no one else so that later you can live like no one else") and seizing the day ("Carpe Diem").  Most of the time the two are not mutually exclusive, however there are times in which they feel as if they are.

In regular day to day living I don't really feel like I'm missing out on anything that would greatly increase my quality of life.  I still find it within my budget to fill our summer up with fun, outdoor activities, shop for necessary clothing, makeup, kids' stuff, birthday presents, etc.  Sure there are things that I'd LOVE to buy right now that kind of irk me when I notice their absence, like a good landscaping job in my front yard (TREES!!), a new paint job for the exterior of the house, a new car/truck for Michael, new countertops and paint job for my kitchen cabinets, and more.  But I've settled it in my mind that those things will just have to wait until the house is paid off (2 years from right now).  So I'm not crushed, just a little annoyed.

There are, however, some other opportunities to spend money that I do feel like would increase the "life" in our lives - carpe diem type of things.  For instance, some very close friends of ours moved out of the country three years ago and are in the States on furlough for the first time since.  BUT they'll be in Washington and Colorado the whole time visiting their families.  I'd LOVE it if we could just postpone our financial goals a month or more so that we could go visit them in either of those states.  Sounds reasonable, doesn't it?  I guess I just don't know where the line should be drawn, and that's something that Michael and I will have to agree on.

Michael and I are "slippery slope" kind of people, and we know it.  We don't want to allow something like that in our budget and then start calling a ton of other things "carpe diem" kinds of things.  That's how we got into the mess in which we found ourselves.  We're not really "balanced" type of people, either; we're usually one extreme or the other.  So some balance would probably be nice in our lives.  When I say, "I walk the line," it's not really true.  I WANT to walk the line.  We'll see.  (We're also usually harder on ourselves than we ought to be, and that's part of it.)  **sigh**  That's all I got.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

My Big Belly

And so it begins:  the vast over-estimation of my baby's gestational age.  I think I'm a little more relaxed about it this time around than I was the first two.  With the first two I was very snappy when people would say things like, "You're about to pop, aren't you," (during my 6th month).  Or, "Are you sure there's only one in there?"

I would snap back, "Don't you know you're not supposed to say things like that to a pregnant woman?  It's really rude."

This time, though, I know to expect it.  I have big babies; I know this.  I show early; okay, whatever.

I was at Lowe's today buying Michael's father's day present, and the cashier was this nice, young guy that said that his wife was due in December with their first baby.  "Looks like you have one cookin', too," he happily notes.

"Yeah, it's my third," I say, obviously, since my two boys were in the shopping cart.

"Can I guess how far along you are," he very foolishly says.  This guy has a death wish or something.

I started laughing at his naivety.  He really must not have a lot of experience with pregnant women.  "No, no," I say, still laughing, "since it's my third I started showing very early.  For you own good you shouldn't try to guess."

"Five months," he blurts out.  Oh dear.  He was even given the information that I was showing early since it was my third kid.  And he still guessed five months.  ::sigh::

"Eleven weeks," I say, now embarrassed and ready to run out of the store hiding my big belly behind the shopping cart.  "But it's my third, you know, and you show early with the third," I try to reiterate.

Oh well.  Maybe I should just start lying.  I wonder how that would go over.  ;)

Movies

Warning: This is kind of a lame post about movies that I've seen lately because I can't sleep right now.  It may not be that exciting for you, especially if you haven't seen any of the films that I'll write about.
So a few weeks ago or more Michael somehow got DIRECTV to give us a free month or so of a movie channel (which we normally don't have), so I started recording all the movies that looked remotely interesting or just fun.  This was so great for me because we haven't been avid movie watchers since the kids came along 4 years ago!  And I used to be in the movie business!  So of course all of the movies were new to me since I haven't been to the theatre in a while.

We started watching a couple of movies that I actually worked on that went straight to video, but they sucked so bad that I just fast forwarded to the end to see my credit (or lack thereof).  I recorded a few others that were just kind of time-killers.  I normally wouldn't have watched them before because I was a film snob, but I enjoyed them when I just let them be simple (sorry, I guess that makes me still sound like a film snob).  They didn't have to make me think or wow me with amazing cinematography or beautiful acting.  They just had to make me laugh a few times and make me root for the protagonist.

Speaking of rooting for the protagonist, "Julie & Julia" didn't do that for me, that is, of course, if Julie was supposed to be the protagonist and not Julia.  She was whiny and selfish, and I hated her.  But I liked the movie overall because I like cooking and not feeling guilty about the unashamed use of butter in cooking.

I watched a couple of really good ones, too, the kind that "stay with me", as I used to say.  If a movie makes me think for more than a couple days after I see it, then it's a good movie to me.  They also reminded me of movies that Michael and I would have gone to the Angelika or Magnolia or Inwood to see before we had kids.  Now that we have to pay for a babysitter when we go out, we don't want to pay an extra hour charge for the drive time, so the good ol' AMC is what we get.  Lame, I know.

"Lemon Tree" was a good one.  It's about a Palestinian woman who owns a lemon grove passed down from her father, and the Israeli defense minister moves in next door so they order that the grove be cut down because it poses a threat to his house (terrorists and whatnot).  The lemon lady and her young lawyer take it to their supreme court to fight it.  [Spolier alert]  In the end they order that just half of the trees be cut down, and the romance that sparked between the young lawyer and older lemon tree lady went nowhere because of social pressures.  And the defense minister's wife leaves him because of his selfishness about the lemon grove.  It was great, though, because I SOOO tire of happy endings.  Sometimes you just want to see a good character study and think.  Then you can watch your romantic comedy to get your warm fuzzies.  But I loved this movie.

Another good one was "Rachel's Getting Married".  I LOVED this movie.  I thought everything about it was brilliant (with one minor exception I'll discuss in a sec).  I grew up in a dysfunctional family around a lot of addiction and substance and alcohol abuse and later 12 step programs, and that's what this movie was centered around which felt right at home for me.  Haha!  I related a lot to the characters, especially since Rachel and the main character were sisters (and I have two sisters).  The cinematography was brilliant.  It read like a home movie, catching intimate moments, long silences, and just life.  I felt like I was a fly on the wall of this real life circumstance.  And the characters actually had character!  They were so 3-dimensional and real.  The acting was natural and not self-conscious.  And I haven't read anything about the movie, but I'm almost certain a lot of it was improvised.  My ONE problem with the film was the gratuitous sex scene of the two people that just met.  Does that really happen?  It just totally broke my "willing suspension of disbelief" when I saw that.  Maybe I'm naive, but I just don't think that happens in real life much.  Does it?

Oh, and turns out that while Samuel really loves movies, too (Up, Bolt, Toy Story, etc.), I think we'll hold off on letting him watch them any more for now.  He's been obsessing about monsters and getting scared really easily.  That's probably not a good sign.  Woops!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Impatience

So my impatience to get rid of all my baby stuff has now led me a lot of regret.  Now that my third bundle is on the way I'm realizing the things that I really wish I would have held onto for a little while longer.  Some of the things I don't miss at all, like the bouncy, the swing, the high chair, the changing table, and more.  But the things I'm really missing are my breast pump, my maternity clothes, and my nursing pillow.  I won my nursing pillow off of a blog contest, and I've been looking for another one, and they're $87!!  Ahhh!  It was the BEST pillow.  It was filled with organic buckwheat hulls so that it molded to the form you wanted it.  Ugh, I loved it.  I guess I'll be checking Craig's List religiously now.

So Michael came in here and read this and said, "I told you at the time that it was a mistake, right?"  I know, I know!  I was so sure that we were finished having kids, though!!!

I was also thinking about how I won that pillow.  I wrote this blog post, and then I submitted it into a contest at a breastfeeding blog, although I can't remember which blog.  So when I won, I felt so good.  I felt like I was being rewarded for all my hard work.  So what did I do, then?  I sold it at a kids resale shop for a TINY fraction of what it was worth.

Live and learn, right?  Back when I was selling stuff we were in the "buy whatever we need" phase.  But now that we're in the "pay off your house and live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else" phase, those big purchases hurt a little more.  Oh well.  You gotta live with your stupid decisions, right?  I'm still so glad we decided to have another one, though.  I'm pretty sure I'll never regret that decision.

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