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Monday, March 22, 2010

Growing Up

Our wisdom comes from our experience, and our experience comes from our foolishness. ~ Sacha Guitry (French playwright)

The theme of mine and Michael’s lives lately has been this exact thing.  When you’re a teenager you think you know everything, especially way more than your parents.  And maybe you really are right about a few things, but that only sparks even more pride.  Then you get to college, and you realize that maybe your parents were right about a few things, but still you have the goods on life.  And your little idealistic self knows that you’re not going to make the same mistakes that most adults do, because, afterall, they’re all idiots, right?  

So then a few years go by, you graduate, and you start to realize that life is hard and you start making some mistakes.  Well, whatever, at least they’re not major mistakes like all the other idiots, right?  But still in the back of your mind you realize you’re just like everyone else.  Then you get married, and again, you’re struck with this same theme again.

Then it happens, the granddaddy of all life lessons: you have kids.  At that point, everything you thought you knew about life in general gets thrown out the window with all your pride.  It may not happen right away, but certainly after the second kid comes along (or after you turn 30) it will.

It may not have been this way for you, but it certainly was for us.  Every year that goes by I realize that I know even less about life in general - money, parenting, relationships, spirituality.  But let me tell you, I have found SUCH freedom in simply accepting that and leaving myself open to learning more.  I still screw up daily, but at least now I’m trying to learn from those foolish mistakes instead of insisting that I am right all of the time.  Every time I start to say that I’m absolutely right about something, a little red flag goes up and says, “Um, maybe you’re wrong or maybe it’s a grey area.”  Sometimes I don’t hear it until it’s too late, but I look forward to the day that the flag goes up BEFORE  I screw up.

I’ll post soon about how all of this has affected my parenting.  Michael posted a bit about how it’s affected our finances here.  It’s all good stuff, but we have a LONG way to go.  I sure am glad that God is patient with me.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

xoxoxo

So first I'll mention my new digs.  For those of you reading on Facebook, I got a new layout for my blog.  The old west theme was, uh, really ugly, and I'm embarrassed that I didn't really realize it until recently.

So I was thinking the other day, and I realize that I'm over-thinking it, but I'll share anyway...I wish I was a hugger.  You know what I mean?  I mean, I hug my family but not really many others, unless they initiate, of course.  I don't think about it every time I see someone, just when other huggers are around.  Some people always hug when they see other people, but I just don't.  I usually want to, but I just assume that the other person doesn't want to, so I withhold.  And then also I don't know if there are hugging norms of which I'm unaware, like you should only hug if you haven't seen the person in a long time or if you're close friends.  But I've received some hugs from people that are not close friends, and it feels normal.  When I initiate it, though, it just doesn't feel right.  I just feel stupid.  

And then there's kissing.  I love it when people give a cheek kiss, but not everyone can pull it off.  Like if I all of the sudden started hugging and kissing people they might think I only had a few months to live or something.  And that's the problem; you can't just change your mind all of the sudden on the matter.  You can't just go from not kissing and hugging to doing it all of the sudden because then it's all awkward for everyone.  I think you have to start out relationships hugging so that you're known as a hugger and it's not off-putting.

It seems like I was a hugger at certain times in my life, but then some self-consciousness was piqued somewhere along the way.  Uh-oh!  A little self-discovery might be waiting in the wings.  Hehe.

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