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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Baby #3 Perhaps?

Well, as many of you know, I have said that I'm finished having children since I was pregnant with Levi. I was pretty set on that, but Michael still really wanted a third one and to try for a girl. I had many reservations about it:
  • I didn't want to be pregnant again.
  • I didn't want to breastfeed again (especially that first two weeks of HELL).
  • I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to be as involved in Samuel and Levi's lives.
  • I didn't want to get fat again and have to lose the weight again with the possibility that I wouldn't be able to.
  • I didn't want to have another C-section.
  • I didn't want the inconvenience of a baby (i.e. not being able to go where I want when I want.)
  • I just didn't want 3 kids because everything gets more complicated.
  • I didn't want a girl because I didn't want to compete with her for Michael's affection (weird, I know, but I'm just being honest.)
  • I thought it would be weird to breastfeed a girl.
  • I didn't want Levi to be a middle child.
  • I didn't want to have to restrict my diet and medication for pregnancy and breastfeeding again.
  • I basically just didn't want to do the whole baby thing AGAIN. I'm not big on the baby phase.
So the other night Michael and I were talking as we were laying there in bed. He was saying that it would be really cool for me to have a girl for several reasons:
  • I would have someone to do girly stuff with.
  • I would have someone to shop with and dress.
  • As my boys got older and moved on, my girl and I would have a different kind of connection.
I don't really remember what else he said, and those things don't seem that meaningful, but it really impacted me because I started seeing this potential third child as a person and not just an idea anymore. I saw this person as a teenager and young adult and was really sad when I tried imagining life without her. (I didn't think of the person as another son.) And I really wanted that relationship with a daughter.

So I was still opposed to the idea because I didn't want to do the first 3 years again. But the feelings that the conversation with Michael produced wouldn't go away. So I was talking to my dear friend Andrea about it, and she was saying that I needed to think about the whole picture not just those first few really hard years. I would have 50+ years with this daughter or son, and that would make those first few hard and inconvenient years totally worth it.

Well, that was pretty much my tipping point. I was about 75% decided before that conversation, and a few days after that conversation I was 100% decided that I want to try for a third baby. This morning's sermon was about trusting in God, and that sealed it for me. Then I started looking at baby names and got really excited. So I decided to tell Michael, and he was happy.

We talked about when we would start trying, and we realized that we would need to start trying between now and November or wait until June (to have him/her in a desired month). I'll have to wait and see what I feel like and call my doctor (because I'm taking a medication) to see if now is a good idea or not (well, next month).

And I know you must be thinking, 'Are they going to be way disappointed if they have a boy?' No, absolutely not...well, maybe a little disappointed that we didn't have a girl, but we know boys, so that would be just fine, too. Two other good things that would come of this would be:
  • Samuel would be much more aware of this pregnancy and birth to be excited.
  • Levi would not be the baby. He's got a personality that would not be conducive to being the baby. I think he would be a more balanced person having another sibling.
So anyway, suggestions as to how to conceive a girl are welcomed. As you would expect from us, we will be getting a book on it, but we welcome other suggestions, too, just not the old wives' tales because those WAY get on my nerves. ;)

5 comments :

  1. You could try costly fertility treatments to pre-select the sex of the baby but I personally wouldn’t do it. 1. Its not worth the money because you have no guarantees. 2. You might just have a girl without the medical interventions. Odds are, you will have another boy because in America, 1050 boys are born for every 1000 girls. (Sort of seems like a blow to the polygamy crowd; if God wanted multiple wives then why didn’t he give men at least a 3:1 ratio? I digress). Going by statistics and if you are choose the natural course of things, you have a greater chance of having another boy but the odds are still close enough to take the chance of not tampering with Mother Nature and keeping your thousands of dollars vs paying for treatments. We’ve had two girls thus far and I’m really resisting the temptation to give some inappropriate advice in the name of humor here. For example, I was going to say, “Sharon and I have found that oral sex while playing Call of Duty increases the likelihood of having a girl” but I won’t do that. That’s an inappropriate remark and I dare not be so uncouth.

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  2. I am so excited for you!!!! It helps bridge the gap too. Now our kids won't be so far away in age!! :-D

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  3. I am thrilled about another baby in the family.

    As to advice on how to have a girl, if I knew,I would have had one!!

    Love you guys,
    Mimi (mother of 4 boys)

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  4. Annie,

    We met a few years back while working on Night of the White Pants (I was a teacher at the time, spending my summer as a locations intern), and it seems that we have a lot of mutual friends: Curby P. and Mark C. to name a couple.

    Anyway, the internet seems to provide a path to anyone's door, and thus I came across your blog.

    My wife and I are about to have our third boy in a few weeks. Even though the first two were "unplanned," we truly thought we were done for good - to the point that we gave away all of our baby stuff. Then we found out on the day of our anniversary.

    She has scoliosis and had begun long-term treatment, but now that has to be put on hold indefinitely. We were just getting into a financial position to really kill some debt, and now our financial situation looks shaky again. But through all of that we both trust in God and smile at his humor. And we are truly blessed to have another boy in our home (we are both terrified of raising a girl). And after he is born, one or both of us will be getting "fixed."

    So this is just my encouragement to enjoy whatever blessings God sends your way. Because you are probably having another boy.

    Samuel

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  5. Haha! Thanks for that, Samuel. I am definitely ready for the possibility of having another boy. For one, my oldest son says he'd rather have another brother than a sister, without fail, every time I ask him. You can't help but love whatever little baby comes out, no matter if it's a boy or a girl. I'm still praying for a girl, but really I just want one more person in the family.

    Thanks for commenting, and good luck and many blessings with the new addition!

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