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Monday, April 20, 2009

Workin' it Out

I’m STILL trying to drop this last 10 pounds of baby weight, and it’s driving me crazy. So I started trying to help myself keep to my diet and my workouts by keeping track of them with this online calendar. You can mark each day as a success, failure, or exempt. Then I was going to reward myself with each milestone that I made. For example, after two weeks of not cheating on my diet and working out at least 4 times a week I could go get a facial.

I had some other good ideas for my rewards, but none of them ending up panning out, mostly because I’m an adult and I can pretty much buy stuff I want whenever I want as long as it fits into our budget. And since we didn’t really have room for a new category in our budget, I ended up not getting those things. So then I was bummed that I couldn’t come up with a motivation to stick to my diet or my workouts. (This reward system might work really well for someone just starting out, though.)

I was sulking about it one day, feeling oh so sorry for myself. So I was telling Michael about it, and he was helping me think through it. So he goes, “Why don’t you just workout because that’s what you do? You’re Annie who works out 4 times a week and eats well.”

‘Huh, that could work,’ I thought. I don’t need gimmicks and tricks; I need a mind shift. I really am Annie who works out 4 times a week and eats well, but I wasn’t believing it. Working out has been pretty much a consistent part of my life (with a few very minor setbacks and two babies) for the past 8 or so years now. But still, I haven’t internalized it on that level. (My husband is brilliant, y’all.)

I had the best workout this morning because of that mind shift. I didn’t complain in my head even once about the workout class; I challenged myself; I was there for me; and it wasn’t that hard to get out of bed when the alarm went off. I did it because I love it; I love taking care of myself; and because that’s a time that I can totally focus on me.

It’s so funny because y’all know that lately I’ve been having a bit of a pity party (and y’all have been so gracious to me – thanks for all the support and love), but I was COMPLETELY overlooking workouts as ME-time. I think that I was doing that because I wasn’t identifying myself with it. It was something I HAD to do, not something I just do. I HAD to go to the gym, instead of I’m going to the gym because I’m a gym member and that's what I do.

What we believe about ourselves is such a driving force in our lives. Fake it til you make it if you have to, but then internalize it. You're believing and internalizing something about yourself (whether you want to or not and whether you like those beliefs or not). So you might as well be in control of those beliefs instead of letting them passively hang out.

I'm Annie who works out 4 times a week and eats well. :-)

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