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Thursday, April 9, 2009

Still a Neighborhood Nerd

OK, so you have to take a new poll for me. Read this then vote. (The poll is on my blog, in case you're reading this on Facebook.)

So as the title states, I'm still a neighborhood nerd, it seems. (See November post for background.) So "the hood" as they call themselves, had a baby shower tonight that I was invited to for a really sweet girl named Jennifer. It was a nice shower, and everyone was really friendly, but the fact that I just haven't broken into this group of friends yet was just screaming at me the whole time. People would talk to me from time to time, but I was just so shy the whole time and felt out of place. They all know each other so well and see each other everyday and have history together. It was like being at someone's family dinner. You introverts know what I mean.

We first met everyone back at the Halloween party 5 months ago. Since then we went to the Christmas party (where we had a blast), and I've hung out with a couple of the stay at home moms like twice. Since I live on the other block, it's hard for me to just run into them. So I wait to be invited to things, but that doesn't really happen a whole lot. I've invited the two SAHMs to my house for playdates, but they're always busy. They're all like, "Drop by anytime," but really I don't feel like I can do that with a person until I know them better and have been invited over often. I'm not that brassy of a gal.

So then there's the stuff that we haven't been invited to. There was a New Year's Eve party/birthday party that we didn't get invited to. I'm sure there are impromptu things that happen all the time that they don't think to call us for. Then, the other day I saw all the girls walking down the street for a nice walk through the neighborhood. I was bored just sitting at home with the blinds up while all 10 or so of them walked by. They didn't think to invite me. But then I was invited to this baby shower, so I was like, 'Well, maybe they do like me.'

So get over it, right? I really like them all a lot, and they're all people that I could really see myself being good friends with. I don't really fault them for not thinking of me much. I am on the other block. So what should I do? Should I just move on and not try to be friends with them because it doesn't seem like there's room for me there? Or should I just try to plug away at it and do more playdates and whatnot? Or should I just not try to do anything and see if it fizzles out or not? Vote now!

10 comments :

  1. Thats a toughie, but they seem to like you and maybe they are just taking your introversion as a cue that you aren't interested in being better friends with them. Either way they're missing out on a great friendship!

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  2. Well, last night was really the only time I felt very introverted around them. So I don't think that's it.

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  3. I totally know what you mean. It can be hard to break into a group. I am not very good at that. . . too afraid of rejection I think. Hope to see you at one of the Luna group meetups. They are a great bunch of gals. I think you will feel very welcome!

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  4. I still keep meaning to go, but I'm a little worried about how my not being a SS member will affect how well I fit into Luna. I'm such a nerd!

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  5. Don't worry. I'll introduce you to everyone! I hope you'll be at the play group at my house on tuesday!

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  6. You didn't have a "you are over-thinking this" option because that is what I would have clicked.
    Here is my advice:
    If you want to get to know them I think the best route would be to first identify the SAHM you get along with the best. Second, make some sort of homemade something and drop it by during the day time. Walk over there with the stroller so it doesn't look weird when you unload your kids from the car to show up on her doorstep. 1 of 3 things will probably happen:
    1. She will invite you in and you will get to know each other better.
    2. She will accept your homemade whatever and probably remember to invite you the next time something comes up. You might could ask about the group walks and mention that you too like to walk. Then start crying and say, “I just want to be loved…is that so wrong?” (JK)
    3. She will reject your homemade whatevers and never speak to you again. If option 3 happens then you have gained valuable information about this person. You will now know that you don't need to be pursuing this friendship because this person is a b-witch and you will have saved a lot of time and energy as opposed to finding that out the hard way.

    Results 1-2-3, although not all of them are positives, will at least put your mind at rest about it.

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  7. I agree with John but I totally understand what you're saying b/c I'm an introvert and shy around people I don't know. I think you're over thinking this. Plus, they don't need to be your "best" friends; you just like the companionship. I think you should load up the boys and stroller on down through the neighborhood a few times. Maybe someone will be out in their yard and you can just talk to them. OR I totally agree with just getting in good with the SAHM you like best and that's your foot in.

    ~Courtney

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  8. LOL! I NEVER over-think things! Good ideas, though. I might do that.

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  9. I have some Amish friendship bread starters if you'd like to give them away, J/K, Although I really do have the starters. Sharon

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  10. WE have already discuss this in person but I want to go on record.
    OK first of all what is their phone number, I'll call them and ask how dare they be rude to you, the mother of perfect children!!!
    Second, I would plan a hamburger cookout sometime in May, far enough ahead that schedules won't be full. Pick out the one you like best and coordinate with her schedule before you set the date.
    Provide all of the food and drink, they only have to show up and enjoy.
    If the party happens, plan a simple "getting to know you" game.
    It is unusual to find serveral families with SAHM's. I hope this works out for you.

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