Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
And this is the dresser. I think that's pretty much finished; I just wanted you to get a better feel for the room.So what do you think? I need ideas. I don't really want to do a large, framed picture above the bed or anything like that, but I could be persuaded otherwise. Let me know!! TIA!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
- I didn't want to be pregnant again.
- I didn't want to breastfeed again (especially that first two weeks of HELL).
- I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to be as involved in Samuel and Levi's lives.
- I didn't want to get fat again and have to lose the weight again with the possibility that I wouldn't be able to.
- I didn't want to have another C-section.
- I didn't want the inconvenience of a baby (i.e. not being able to go where I want when I want.)
- I just didn't want 3 kids because everything gets more complicated.
- I didn't want a girl because I didn't want to compete with her for Michael's affection (weird, I know, but I'm just being honest.)
- I thought it would be weird to breastfeed a girl.
- I didn't want Levi to be a middle child.
- I didn't want to have to restrict my diet and medication for pregnancy and breastfeeding again.
- I basically just didn't want to do the whole baby thing AGAIN. I'm not big on the baby phase.
- I would have someone to do girly stuff with.
- I would have someone to shop with and dress.
- As my boys got older and moved on, my girl and I would have a different kind of connection.
- Samuel would be much more aware of this pregnancy and birth to be excited.
- Levi would not be the baby. He's got a personality that would not be conducive to being the baby. I think he would be a more balanced person having another sibling.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I swore I would never read Twilight. Well, okay, I didn’t swear, but I seriously had no plans to do it. I just totally didn’t get it. Why in the world would a bunch of MOMS in their late twenties and early thirties want to read about some high schooler vampire? And then they would all swoon over Edward, and it seriously made me cringe. His character is 17! Ewww! I just really didn’t get it and didn’t want to lumped into that group of people - you know...Twilight fans.
So finally the buzz was dying down, and I was soon forgetting about it when out of nowhere Becki writes a blog about finally reading the Twilight series. She said that she was surprised that she actually liked it and that it reminded her that she likes to read (I’m paraphrasing). It was actually just a passing thought tagged onto another blog entry, but I thought, what the heck, I’ll give it a shot. I hadn’t read a fiction book in a while (since Jane Eyre before Levi was born - and that was an audiobook), so I was in the mood for some mindless reading. I ended up getting sick while on vacation in Utah, and had nothing better to do in my hotel room while Michael and the boys had fun elsewhere, so I bought the first book.
I wasn’t sold on it at first. I was totally annoyed by Bella and thought she was a whiny, melodramatic teenage girl, self-absorbed even though the author was trying to portray her as selfless. And why in the hell would Edward, if he was so majestic, be interested in this bratty girl. Wasn’t he supposed to be like over 100 years old? And he’s in love with a 17 year old girl? A 25 year old guy wouldn’t be interested in her, let alone some god of a guy. So I finished that book, and I understood it (you have to read it to know what I mean). I still didn’t buy it completely, but I got it.
It was entertaining, and it passed the time. And I started to understand the obsession with Edward. The author writes him very well. The trouble I ran into, though, was that they put the first chapter of the next book in the end of the first book, so as to take advantage of my OCD. I read it, and I couldn’t just leave the rest of it unread. So I bought the second book. I totally didn’t like it until the last few chapters, but, again, it passed the time. They did the same with the third book, so I bought it, too, even though I was reluctant to spend 8 more bucks on the hardback version since the paperback wasn’t out yet. The third was my favorite, so it was a good thing that I bought the fourth when I bought the third.
They were all such easy reads that I started 11 days ago, and I’m almost finished with the fourth book. So I guess in terms of readability and keeping the reader intrigued, it did a good job; I was entertained. I’m still pretty embarrassed that I read them all, but like Becki said, it was really cool that it reminded me that I really like reading fiction books. Staying up late to read a good fiction book is one of my favorite things to do. And these books reminded me of that, so that was a really cool thing to come out it. That’s really good for high schoolers, too, that might be into the books. If a high schooler can gain a love for reading, then they will be so much further ahead in life than a lot of their peers.
So I finally watched the movie tonight, which of course was the first book. And wow....that was really bad. It had such potential to be a really cool movie, and they just really butchered it. It was so disappointing. The acting was terrible - so over-the-top and melodramatic. There was no color to the acting at all. It was always intense and pained. And there was no buildup to the intensity, either. Someone who didn’t read the book would be left wondering why in the world they were so head-over-heels for each other after like 2 days or whatever. I guess that’s always the trouble with making a book into a movie. It’s hard to blame the actors since they’re so young, but a better director might have channelled some of that intensity a little better.
They didn’t capture the essence of the beauty of the vampires (and mainly Edward) nearly as well as the book did. They’re so magical and mystical in the book and notsomuch in the movie. My impression of Bella in the book, however, was spot-on in the film - whiny, melodramatic, overly intense.
At the end credits they used all these cool black and white shots of scenes, and I thought that that would have been such a cool way to do the film - all edgy and artistic. I, at least, would have enjoyed it more. Oh well. I’ll probably wait until New Moon comes out on DVD to watch that one.
OK, so I’m done with my long boring post about Twilight (which I keep wanting to type as Twiglight). Now it’s off my chest, and I’m done with it! Thoughts? Disagreements? Bring ‘em on. Ha ha!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
When it comes to potty training, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Right now I'm basically just doing what my sister Julie told me to do. It's a little different from what I read about in a book I like, but I just figured that she successfully potty trained 4 kids so she knows what she's doing. I'm hoping to not scar him in any way throughout this process, so I'm piling on the love and affection and praise.
Potty training is just an extremely daunting task to me. It's something that I've dreaded ever since Samuel was born. There are so many ways to go about it, for one. And who really knows what's best. But also, you have to actually train your kid to do something. Therefore, the ultimate success of your endeavor is measured by the output of your kid. I know it's not exactly the same, but I've had two dogs in my adult life, and I was never able to house train either one of them. And the common denominator in this whole scenario is me.
Despite the great stress I feel about it all, Samuel really is doing great. He's rarely having accidents, and tomorrow we're going to try to go without the timer (we were setting the kitchen timer for every 30 minutes.) We're also going to a birthday party next door tomorrow, which I'm a little worried about, but we'll see how it goes.
::sigh:: I'm ready for this to be over (in the sense of it being a success.)
Monday, May 11, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
I had some other good ideas for my rewards, but none of them ending up panning out, mostly because I’m an adult and I can pretty much buy stuff I want whenever I want as long as it fits into our budget. And since we didn’t really have room for a new category in our budget, I ended up not getting those things. So then I was bummed that I couldn’t come up with a motivation to stick to my diet or my workouts. (This reward system might work really well for someone just starting out, though.)
I was sulking about it one day, feeling oh so sorry for myself. So I was telling Michael about it, and he was helping me think through it. So he goes, “Why don’t you just workout because that’s what you do? You’re Annie who works out 4 times a week and eats well.”
‘Huh, that could work,’ I thought. I don’t need gimmicks and tricks; I need a mind shift. I really am Annie who works out 4 times a week and eats well, but I wasn’t believing it. Working out has been pretty much a consistent part of my life (with a few very minor setbacks and two babies) for the past 8 or so years now. But still, I haven’t internalized it on that level. (My husband is brilliant, y’all.)
I had the best workout this morning because of that mind shift. I didn’t complain in my head even once about the workout class; I challenged myself; I was there for me; and it wasn’t that hard to get out of bed when the alarm went off. I did it because I love it; I love taking care of myself; and because that’s a time that I can totally focus on me.
It’s so funny because y’all know that lately I’ve been having a bit of a pity party (and y’all have been so gracious to me – thanks for all the support and love), but I was COMPLETELY overlooking workouts as ME-time. I think that I was doing that because I wasn’t identifying myself with it. It was something I HAD to do, not something I just do. I HAD to go to the gym, instead of I’m going to the gym because I’m a gym member and that's what I do.
What we believe about ourselves is such a driving force in our lives. Fake it til you make it if you have to, but then internalize it. You're believing and internalizing something about yourself (whether you want to or not and whether you like those beliefs or not). So you might as well be in control of those beliefs instead of letting them passively hang out.
I'm Annie who works out 4 times a week and eats well. :-)
Saturday, April 18, 2009
So my crunchiness label is now revoked. Don’t tell all my granola-head friends, but I think I’m going to quit cloth diapering. I feel like a bit of a quitter, but it was just too much for me. I really wish I could handle it because I love the idea – saving the environment, saving money, more natural for the kid, possible earlier potty training, etc. But for real, y’all, it was a lot of work.
Samuel poops at least once a day, but Levi, my gosh, he poops 2-4 times a day. And with each poop I’d have to go to the toilet and spray it off then take it back to the room and throw it in the diaper pail. That doesn’t sound too bad, but when you have a clingy 14 month old crying and trying to chase down your leg, it sucks, not to mention the crappiness of having to keep him out of the toilet while I sprayed said diaper.
Then I’d have to launder them every 2 days, and that wasn’t so bad, it was the getting them out of the dryer and back into the kids’ room that never happened. So then every time I changed a diaper I’d have to go to the dryer to get a diaper and then to the kids’ room to get a wipe and then chase down the kid and change his diaper wherever he was.
And I know this sounds bad because I know the response of cloth diapering moms, but I’ll say it anyway: I hated having to change their diapers so often! I’d have to change them at least every 2 hours, and I’m sorry, but with disposables you don’t have to do that. So to that a cloth diapering mom would say, “Well, you don’t want your baby sitting in pee for that long anyway.” But you know what, disposables do a great job at keeping the pee away from their bottoms, so I’m fine with that.
Ahhh, it feels great to just admit defeat and go back to wasteful living. I’ll plant a couple of trees or something, okay. For real, though, it was stressing me out and was becoming a strain on my home life. I think our family will benefit more greatly from not doing cloth diapering. There, I’ve said it. [defeated but happy]
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
So I was trying to come up with stuff to do, and I kept finding roadblocks. I was thinking about it, and it’s like I’ve completely forgotten all of the things that make me feel alive. Then I remembered singing. ‘That’s right, I really enjoy singing and worship leading, and I feel really alive when I’m doing it.’ So I tried to venture down that path, but the worship leader at our church is kind of dragging his feet on letting me sing. I don’t know why, but I think the ministry might be a little oversaturated at our church. I feel like walking up to him briskly, pulling two fists full of his shirt and saying, “Look, you don’t know how much I need this!”
The big thing that I felt was missing from my life was simply a connection with God. Michael wisely said that this should be my first point of focus because, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” I was really excited about that, but I was also a little overwhelmed.
Having kids necessitates a reinvention of many of ones relationships. A marriage relationship most definitely needs to be redefined when you have kids. It’s no longer just the two of you. Friendships have no choice but to be redefined. You can’t just go hang out whenever you feel like it or stay out until all hours of the night (like I always did – ha ha).
So I think that mothers (and fathers, for that matter) need to realize that our relationships with God will be different once we have kids, too. Having a solid chunk of time to read scripture, pray, play guitar and sing, etc. seem a thing of the past. I’m lucky to pray while I’m in the shower or while I’m nursing and dozing off to sleep. And whenever I do have a minute to myself, my mind is so full of clutter and task lists. And whenever I pick up a bible or another book to read, it’s quickly grabbed out of my hands and nearly torn by my 14 month old. I don’t think I need to keep stating my case, because if you’re a mom, you surely know what I’m talking about.
So I’m re-reading this book called The Busy Mom’s Guide to Spiritual Survival. I’m hoping that I can actually implement the things I’m learning in there this time. But most of all I’m hoping that it really sinks in that having a relationship with God isn’t about doing. I don’t have to do a whole bunch of stuff to be in right standing with Him; Jesus already took care of that. I just want to love Him because I love Him and because He’s worthy. He is, y’all. : )
I was laying in bed a little while ago putting Levi to sleep, and my mind started racing again about friendships (another thing on my mind, as you could see from my last post). I had invited one of the SAHM’s from the hood to this kids’ thing, and she said she couldn’t do it. So I was just like, ‘Forget it! I’m done with them! It’s official!’ But I reminded myself that I’m not even going to trouble myself with all of that or any other friendship stuff because I’m going to seek God first and let Him handle the rest (the rest - as in my whole outlook on life). That brought me so much peace. Ahhh, such joy and contentment in surrendering to Him! On that note, I’m going to bed.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
So as the title states, I'm still a neighborhood nerd, it seems. (See November post for background.) So "the hood" as they call themselves, had a baby shower tonight that I was invited to for a really sweet girl named Jennifer. It was a nice shower, and everyone was really friendly, but the fact that I just haven't broken into this group of friends yet was just screaming at me the whole time. People would talk to me from time to time, but I was just so shy the whole time and felt out of place. They all know each other so well and see each other everyday and have history together. It was like being at someone's family dinner. You introverts know what I mean.
We first met everyone back at the Halloween party 5 months ago. Since then we went to the Christmas party (where we had a blast), and I've hung out with a couple of the stay at home moms like twice. Since I live on the other block, it's hard for me to just run into them. So I wait to be invited to things, but that doesn't really happen a whole lot. I've invited the two SAHMs to my house for playdates, but they're always busy. They're all like, "Drop by anytime," but really I don't feel like I can do that with a person until I know them better and have been invited over often. I'm not that brassy of a gal.
So then there's the stuff that we haven't been invited to. There was a New Year's Eve party/birthday party that we didn't get invited to. I'm sure there are impromptu things that happen all the time that they don't think to call us for. Then, the other day I saw all the girls walking down the street for a nice walk through the neighborhood. I was bored just sitting at home with the blinds up while all 10 or so of them walked by. They didn't think to invite me. But then I was invited to this baby shower, so I was like, 'Well, maybe they do like me.'
So get over it, right? I really like them all a lot, and they're all people that I could really see myself being good friends with. I don't really fault them for not thinking of me much. I am on the other block. So what should I do? Should I just move on and not try to be friends with them because it doesn't seem like there's room for me there? Or should I just try to plug away at it and do more playdates and whatnot? Or should I just not try to do anything and see if it fizzles out or not? Vote now!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Well, the fumes from the Kilz that they used to treat the stain were getting to us, so I decided to leave my house in the care of the painter’s helper (complete with tattoo sleeves) who was left to paint the ceiling. (I really wasn’t worried; but I did notice when I got home that I left a bank statement in plain view – oh well.) So we drove around, and Levi was asleep within one minute of driving, so we couldn’t get out. I made a quick deposit and decided to drive around to insure that he fell into a deep enough sleep to transfer him out of the car and into the bed without noticing.
Whilst (I love using that word) driving around I purposely turned away from the Starbucks across the street from my bank drive-thru. I did a loop around the neighborhood, though, and ended up right in front of it again. Screw it! I drove on through! All I ordered was a kids apple juice for Samuel and a toffee almond bar for me. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I NEEDED it. It tasted really great and was just the little treat I needed after a tough morning. I’m not worried about the one little sweet treat making me bloat up; I was just disappointed that my no-cheating spree was over. Now I have to start over.
On a funnier note, Samuel kept calling the painter’s helper “the little man” (he’s probably 5’ 9” and 140 pounds). He said it outside, but then he said it right in front of him. I don’t think the guy was paying attention, but I had to keep myself from laughing.
Monday, March 30, 2009
2. Don’t read to a kid when they’re carsick. It only makes it worse.
3. Dramamine is Samuel’s new best friend and will always be on my packing list from now on, as well as a bucket or large bowl. Nothing makes him sleepy, but at least it took away the motion sickness.
4. If the kid hasn’t had milk that day, the vomit doesn’t smell as bad, so no milk on travel day.
5. Making time for friends is a MUST! For the past 12 years every time I’ve gone home my focus has been entirely on my family, and I have missed out on my friends’ lives. I had the best trip this weekend because I got to see so many old friends (and boy do I mean OLD – j/k). It was very life-giving. So here’s my shout-out (do people still say that) to Stacy, Erica & Dave, Shane & Heidi, Christa, and Jennifer! It was so much fun (and a bit of a mind trip) meeting everyone’s kids! I’m so glad I got to hang out with all of you. I’m not going to make so much time pass before our next get-together. Here are my girls: Heidi, Stacy, me, and Erica, and below is Jennifer and me. (I forgot to take a pic of Christa.)
6. When you’re passing the last Bill Miller BBQ in north Austin, STOP, even if you’re not hungry. You’ll regret it later when you’re eating a cold sandwich from the Target in Temple.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Well, there goes a whole season of Monday nights that I’ll never get back. I totally wasted my Monday nights on The Bachelor, and the ending totally stunk. I started suspecting about midway through the season that Jason (the bachelor) was a bit overemotional and it annoyed me, but I ignored it. But ever since he let what’s-her-name from Canada go, I knew that he was a flake. He totally followed his emotions, overcomplicated things, and made a mess of things. Deanna even came back and told him, “Lead your heart,” and he totally didn’t.
Anyway, I swear to you that I am not wasting my time on that stupid show anymore! It’s made for a whole bunch of people that are probably bad at relationships anyway, which is why they would go on a reality show to find love anyway. There’s my rant. I’m done with that show!