Not that this should come as a shock to anyone, but I swear I can be such an idiot sometimes.
So Michael and I are on this diet called the No S Diet. It really works for us, mostly. It's no snacking, no sweets, and no seconds on days that don't start with S. So I'm pretty used to it by now, and it's been really good for me to learn self-control.
Also, as I have blogged about before, I haven't been able to have dairy (any at all) for quite some time due to Levi's sensitivity to it. Lately, however, I've been adding a little dairy back into my diet here and there to test the waters and see if he's getting over it, and it's been pretty successful. Because of my newfound freedom in the dairy department, though, I have been known to go a bit overboard - case in point: 3 pieces of pizza and a piece of chocolate cake at Madi's party yesterday.
Many of you know that I have little self-control, and so my first line of defense is not to bring bad stuff into my home (as noted at Madi's party - not at home=no self-control). So I try not to buy sweets unless I will immediately consume it on an S day. So a few months ago Angie's List sent us a thank you gift for a referral to them. The thank you gift was [cue the scary music] a big bag of peanut M&Ms! Crap! That was my favorite candy as a kid.
I was in the clear, though, because I knew that I couldn't have chocolate because of Levi. So the temptation was gone completely because I wasn't going to hurt my baby. So I put the bag of M&Ms way up in the cabinet so that I couldn't see them everyday, but in the back of my mind I always remembered that they were there.
Flash forward to today. Levi's better with dairy. Michael tells me some annoying news that I didn't feel like dealing with. I went to therapy and dealt with some other annoying issues. Michael wasn't going to be home until 8:30. And I get a mad sweet tooth. Immediately I remember the tempting yellow bag in the top of the cabinet. I jump up on the countertop, as if I'm 10, and stand up to get the bag from the very back where I had thrown it months before. (As an aside, if a "food" lasts months and months without going bad, you probably shouldn't be eating it in the first place.)
So I opened the bag and poured myself a bowl. A few hours later I had some more. A few hours later I had some more; this time I didn't bother with a bowl. 8pm - bag was gone. 8:15pm - I felt really guilty and had an upset stomach. 10:14pm - still have an upset stomach and wish I could just throw it up so that I'd feel better.
I knew I should have thrown them away when I got them because I have no self-control, but I guess I'm an M&M idiot. Was it worth it? I'd love to say yes, but it totally wasn't. I would have felt so much better if I just ate a few and then threw the rest away.