I've really wanted to blog a lot lately about random things that come to mind, but every time I start to think about what I want to write, I think about who (people I know) might read it. So I censor myself and save those entries for my journal (the one I write in with a pen). And that's probably a good thing most of the time. But because I'd like to write a blog post right now and I don't feel like censoring, here's a post you may not normally get from me.
I guess I don't really open up much, so that's why I censor. I've started working with my therapist about it. [Oooh, did she say "therapist"? She's totally going to admit to that?] Michael and I were doing some marriage counseling [that's right], and all these issues kept coming up with me. (I hate when things are my fault.) I started feeling a bit defeated, but it's mainly because I have a lot more "Dad" issues than Michael does. So we decided that I would do some therapy by myself to discover how my relationship with my dad affects the way that I live, think, feel, relate now.
I didn't want to do it, so I kept putting off calling to make the appointment. I finally did my first session on Thursday, quite reluctantly, and it went great. I didn't want to do it because it's just all so cliche. Yeah, my dad was a jerk, and now I have issues. Who doesn't? Nobody likes to be a whiner about it...well, I don't. Even when the counselor called our meeting "therapy", I kind of cringed. 'Oh brother! I'm in therapy for dad issues. How original.'
Dads can really screw kids up. You really don't hear about moms screwing their kids up as much as you do dads. But I guess that's just a reality of living in a fallen world; it sucks sometimes. But Heaven awaits!